job loss and introvert things

Surprise! I’ve been unemployed for two weeks.

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Remembered my camera for once.

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Long story short, I realized towards the end of last year, that I had become complacent. I was listening to all these great podcasts and the common theme between them was that “limiting beliefs” will keep you unsatisfied and stagnant. I realized that deep down I didn’t believe in myself anymore. I didn’t believe in my intelligence, my talent, my worth, anything.

I decided to stop doubting myself, cold turkey. I went out on a limb and joined a career organization in a field I am interested in learning more about. The group was one that I had been looking into since college. I had a great conversation with a leader in the field. I found a job about an hour away from my town and applied. I got a call the next day, interviewed that week, and got an offer (beyond anything I could have envisioned) the following week.

When I say that I was on a trajectory that would change my life, I am not exaggerating. I was planning on selling my house. I was thinking about reserving a spot on a foreign trip that is on my bucket list. I was ready to do all the things.

Then COVID-19 happened. The job was rescinded and my former position had already been replaced.

My last day of work was March 27th. In the past two weeks, I have vacuumed a lot, painted the guest bedroom and moved my sister into it, read a book, knit a small basket, watched the entire Harry Potter movie series, re-potted the majority of my plants, watched the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice again, walked Charlie a minimum of once every day, started painting the porch, started a throw-away pile, organized my studio, started repainting two old portraits, and took my recycling to the transfer station and cleaned the crates.

I did have one emotional breakdown/existential crisis though.

I’m worried that the chances that a job like the one I was offered won’t be around for a while. It was in a prime spot for me to commute for a bit until I sold my home and moved. I had just started to believe that I was ready to move. I’m afraid I will lose that energy I had. I was ready for a change. I was ready to get out of my comfort zone. Do I just hang tight and try to pick up where I left off before the shutdown?

It’s so nice to be an introvert – at least I know I will never get bored.