After my happy day Tuesday, it’s hard to read the words I wrote a few weeks ago when I was feeling low. Honestly, I may fall into an angry state after a bad day at work or an argument with one of my sisters. When my life feels out of my hands, I get angry. So even though I feel a little better now, I could feel like this again tomorrow.
So here it goes.
I cannot put into words how angry I am lately. I’m frustrated about everything: the weather, my car, my hours, my job, my housing situation, my singleness.
The list does not end.
It’s unfortunate but true. I am an unhappy, happy person, a walking paradox – which isn’t as hard to understand as one would think. On the one hand, I have a lot to be thankful for; on the other, I have screwed up a lot too.
To most, anger may seem like an easy way out, but I think that being angry is tough, especially when one is angry at oneself. To constantly question your choices and wish that you had another chance or that the future would come sooner than later is like draining the blood from your veins. Each day you feel less alive and less strong.
Anger keeps you motivated and focused but also distracts you from what is good in your life. Anger keeps me uncomfortable which is good. Comfort will keep me from chasing bigger dreams.