Habits

I want to say so many things.  I want to remember how much fun I had in June; I want to think about everything I accomplished.

But….

There are a lot of factors that have led to this post: a swim at someone’s pond, a homily at mass, etc.  The past couple of days have been rough for me spiritually.  I went to mass yesterday and almost laughed for joy. I hadn’t been in two weeks, and I felt so much better listening to the readings and being in the Lord’s presence.  Work has me down; the weather has me down.  Life has me down, and what really sucks is that I am fine most of the time. As soon as I stop, a blankness fills me. I’m going from one high to the next, not knowing how long I’ll be afloat.
So, hello July.  This month I want to stop twirling my eyebrows; I want to face my fear of murky water. I want to escape from my obsession with food – or embrace it and figure out how to make it work for me. I want to pray more and feed my soul too. I want to be physically stronger than I ever have been.
Instead of dreaming about inspiration, I want to be inspiring.
This seems like a lot to do in one month, but I’m determined to be a better me.