I’m lonely, and that’s good because I’m still looking. I’m lonely and that’s good because I didn’t do something I regret. I’m lonely, and that’s good because I’m working on myself. I’m lonely, but I still love myself. I’m lonely, but I’m still happy.
Thinking about careers gives me nausea. I like my job; I like this business. Since I live in a rural area, cost of living is relatively low, but about half of my month’s earnings goes to my student loans. Thankfully, I live with my sister – which is less like living with a roommate and more like an actually family. However, I would like to be able to live a little. I feel like I’m wasting my single adult life worrying about whether or not I have anything left in my checking account to see a movie.
I have several options rattling around in my brain.
- Find a job in PA. It’s close enough to my family to make a weekend trip, and far enough to be out of NY.
- Get a part-time job and never see my friends, family, or dog.
- Find a job I’m not interested in, nor using my experience in, that pays better.
- Commute an hour to the closest city to a job that is either in my field of interest or pays better.
- Get a two year degree in engineering or nursing and change my field altogether so that I can stay in my hometown, perpetually single, with my dog and a homestead.
- Sell everything I own on eBay (plus the promise of my first born) and hope that puts a dent in my loans.
However, my most recent thought was that I should keep looking for and applying for jobs in a variety of places while also studying and reading up on marketing and business. I wouldn’t take any offer. It would have to be a really good move because I really do like what I’m doing right now. I could try to make as much extra income on the side, without going crazy from stress, and keep slowly chipping away at my loans. I have no interest in loan deferment or lower payments because that defeats the purpose.
I need those loans gone because they are weighing me down. They are evil. The government was crazy to give them to me in the first place.
I like to remind myself that the American dream isn’t built in a day, as corny as that sounds. I can’t compare my situation to everyone else’s, but it’s hard when people ask me about my career. I don’t know what I want to do for the rest of my life. I don’t know where I want to live. I don’t have the answers, but I do know that I work hard. I know that I’m a valuable employee. I have faith in myself to make a career.